Do you fill your life as full as possible with things that you don’t love to do but they keep you busy? Do you stay at home by yourself as much as possible to mourn the loss of a child who isn’t dead but isn’t here? Do you find a part time job until you get another foster placement just to quit? What do you do? This is what I’ve been wondering the past month and a half.
For so long my life has been filled with children 24/7. Time to myself has been scarce and it’s been cherished but now it’s endless. There are so many things I could do and have been doing to fill my time but they don’t give me joy. Am I being selfish? Should I be doing more? Is it not about joy? What do I do?
I feel like the devil loves to keep us busy. If we are busy we can’t take that time to heal. If we are busy we can’t find time for God. We are proud of our busyness, it’s a badge of honor to us. How are you? Good but really busy. Is busy good? God has been telling me to “be still.” It’s so hard to do. We don’t want to be thought of as lazy, as selfish. But there are times after craziness of life stops that we need to take time to heal and simply be still. It’s hard. It hurts. But it’s needed.
Psalm 62:1-2
I find rest in God;
Only he can save me.
He is my rock and my salvation.
He is my defender;
I will not be defeated.
