On The Radio

Thank you Wende at 88.7 The Bridge for sharing my story. How awesome to hear my words put out there!

Since I'm not tech smart, this is the only way I could figure out how to add audio to my blog...copy and paste the link below and click on download and the link for the radio segment should start playing, it's in mp3 form.

 

https://sites.google.com/site/infertilitymedia/infertilitymp3

The "I" Word

A while ago I wrote a blog on what not to say to foster parents. Well this blog is an equally cautious post of mine on the "I" word...infertility. That ugly word that people don't ever want to say and avoid at all costs. That word that if it is part of your life will stay there forever but you can't talk to too many people about it because it makes so many people uncomfortable. The word that will make people always feel sorry for you even if you don't want the pity. However the people that do want to talk about it are usually people you aren't that close to and they ask the questions you don't want to answer.

Questions Not to Ask or Statements Not to Make:
1. Why can't you have kids?
    First off I really don't think you will understand the medical terminology behind it and it's more
    complicated and detailed than I think you really want to hear. So I will just answer with..."for
    several reasons and it's complicated."
2. Is it because of you or him?
    Another question that basically is none of your business and I will leave it at that.
3. That's my worst fear.
    Thank you, I'm glad that I'm living your nightmare and that you are thinking of yourself through
     my pain.
4. Wait till you adopt, then it will happen.
   As often as you hear about this happening it really is not that common and I don't go into adoption
    with that being my goal.
5. I can't imagine not being able to carry my own child
    Again, how sensitive of you to add this thought to my life...I hadn't thought of that.

Along with the annoyances listed above I've had several blessings along this path of life called infertility. I have the most beautiful children in the world that I could possibly imagine living in my home. I'm sorry but I can't even imagine an image of what our biological children could have looked like measuring up to the beauty of my kids. (Pride now being taken into check) Another amazing blessing has been that friends have been able to come to me with their struggles of trying to get pregnant and I can feel their fears and give them what little words of wisdom I have and can be a person for them to confide in. I rejoice with them when those prayed for children come along and I can pray for them when they don't want anyone else to know the pain of what is going on. What a blessing God has given me.

I am delighted with the life God has given me and I would love to talk to any women who are struggling with infertility or just simply haven't been able to get pregnant and don't know what the next step is. Why are we not educated on this? Please, please, stop asking those wives who have been married a year or two when they are going to have a baby. If it's been awhile since they've been married they may be trying to get pregnant and don't want to share that with anyone and that question just brings up the pain of waiting.  I know I didn't want to share this with too many people.

It is still painful at times. For example my husband and I were recently watching a movie where one of the main characters was unable to be pregnant and another one had a miscarriage. All of a sudden those raw emotions came back to me. Emotions that I thought were long gone came out in sobs and anguish. But most days I don't think about it and I'm not sad I don't have that biological child because the children I have are where they are meant to be. With me and my husband, their parents. So don't feel sorry for me. Praise God for his blessings!!

And I will finish this again with this, if you have said these things to me please don't apologize because I'm not upset or angry, just trying to put my thoughts out there.

Pinterest, I Hate You!





If I'm ever tempted to try something crafty anytime soon please someone remind me to never think I am crafty or that I should even try crafty things anytime in the future. Becky homecky I am not. So I decided that it was time to redo S's room. The room he has been in was our storage room and we got the kids so quick that we never did anything to it and it was starting to depress me. So I decided as much as S loves sports that a sports theme room would be perfect, so of course I turned to Pinterest. See pics below, my inspiration.

 

 

 

 

 

I saw this baseball dresser on Pinterest and thought, perfect! So I bought an old dresser and today I set to work. I had taped off the part for the seams (is that what they're called?) and set to painting. I started off using spray paint, umm can we say streaky and looking like tie dye? So I went and got a roller to even things out. Of course I pick a ruined roller that somehow made the drawer bumpy and awful looking. So I decided to leave the drawer alone Raph could help me fix it later. I moved on to the next drawers and decided to spray paint and then use a brush with other white paint over the spray paint. Worked good on the next drawer except I didn't let the spray paint dry first so again, clumpy. After a very frustrated call to husband I decided to call it quits and he will help me with it later.

 

To top it all off all three boys were outside playing which I thought would make it very easy to get this done because they love playing outside. Well S decided to make this a frustrate mommy day and came into the garage over and over to ask me any question he could think of, throw fits and refused to stay away from the wet dresser. So mommy blew a fuse and yelled and then apologized and prayed that the rest of the day would go better and her anger would stay in check. We all moved inside and things didn't get any better. All the kids continued to throw fits and after lunch I quick put them to bed and decided to move on to the bedroom.

 

First off we had painted three of S's walls a pretty bright blue. The fourth wall was going to be that snazzy football pictured. Easy right? Well I am miss impatient and husband has been super busy at work and tired when he gets home and he helped me do the other three walls the other night so I decided to do the football wall by myself. First off I don't think I've ever had to cut before (that is what it's called right? going around the edges?), husband always does that. So I started off doing that and let's just say it was not up to par. So, frustrated again I got down from the chair I was standing on and felt my foot hit something. I could have cried. Here I had knocked over the paint and before I got to it half of the can had spilled onto the sheet. Have you ever seen half a can of paint spilled? It is a mess!! It was already starting to go through the sheet onto the carpet so I quick rolled the sheet up, wiped up the paint on the floor and headed down to the laundry room to rinse out the sheet. Have you ever tried to rinse half a can of paint out of a sheet? Again, a mess! I had to ring that sheet out over and over and over and thought I finally had most of it out. Brown paint was pretty much all over my laundry room and the sheet dripped brown as I took it outside to hang it up praying that it would just dry. My feet were brown, my hands were brown, the floor was brown.

 

I think next time I redo a room I will paint all four walls the same color and make sure Raph is there to help me. And Ikea seems like a good place to get simple furniture instead of trying to be crafty. I'm still not sure what's going to happen to that wall or that dresser. For now I will sit on the couch and not touch anything to do with paint, furniture, or walls.