I have decided this blog is good for me so that I can gain perspective on me and how to improve myself daily, ugly truths may come out.
This morning I was talking to S about choices. He woke up in a foul mood and 10 minutes into the morning I heard "Mommy, me done talking to you." Yes, my three year old again sounds like a teenager. His brothers wake up and he promptly yells at them and steals toys away from them. After putting him on the couch for a time out I sit down beside him and ask him why he's being so mean and grumpy. He answers that he doesn't know. So I explained to him that when we wake up grumpy we have to decide if we're going to change our attitude and be nice to people or if we're going to stay grumpy and be mean in which case he will be in time out most of the day.
As I was walking around cleaning up a million thoughts went through my brain. Do I make the right choices? So many times I don't. I choose to be angry and punish instead of being patient and looking for the core of the behavior. Yesterday I was so guilty of that. It was a day of a sick one year old with a 103 temp, potty training a two year old, and a three year old that would lie and connive all day. How did I respond? I chose to be angry and frustrated most of the day. I chose to yell at S when I was so tired of the lying that I didn't know what to do. I chose to let my bad day become worse because I had a bad attitude. Is this where S gets it? Does he watch me in my frustration and copy that?
Today I have to make that choice again if I'm going to let those frustrations take over my day today as well or am I going to learn from my bad decisions yesterday? Instead of looking at S and remembering the lying and the back talking I can remember the way he cared for L. I was sitting holding L on my lap almost sweating from his poor little hot body laying against me. S came up and asked if L was going to be ok and lays his head on my shoulder and strokes L's back humming "Be Still" to try and soothe him. I will remember the victory of K going an entire day of potty training with no accidents. And I will remember L starting to feel better and squealing "Daddy" with excitement as Raph walks through the door. I will remember S talking about his past at the dinner table. A past not with us. Is that the core of the behavior? I'm sure that plays a large part in it and his little confused brain.
I have a good life, I have a fulfilled life, I have to choose to remember that and make better choices with my attitude. Maybe then S will follow. With God's help and right choices I can be better. I will be better.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
My Loves
Since my last blog was about my hates and frustration I decided that this blog would be about my loves.
1. God-Where would I be without Him? Seriously? I would be in a pit of depression and grief with no way out if it weren't for my heavenly father who rescues me day in and day out from my own selfishness and despairs. He fills me with a joy and love beyond my human understanding.
2. My Husband-God has blessed me with a man who knows me so well and would do anything in this world to make me happy. Ex. Move to Ohio, take in three boys, take the time to know my love languages and adore me with all my imperfections and annoyances, the list could go on and on. I have never been a good communicator and my husband may be the best around. I adore him and he adores me. I'm ok with getting old as long as this man is by my side.
3. My Boys-Yes they frustrate me and yes they make me want to tear my hair out 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time I could cry at the sweetness of them. L wrapping his little chubby arms around my neck and squeezing as tight as he can, K asking me to lay beside him when I put him down for a nap and if he accidently hurts me patting my arm and saying "sowwy Mommy", S cuddling up beside me any time I sit down and telling me I look so good when I walk out in an outfit he's never seen before. What would I do without these terrors? They complete our home.
4. My Yoders and Yutzys-Our families could not be more opposite. When the Yoders get together we are a houseful of screaming children and try to get conversation in whenever we can. Yet we are a laid back people that can sit around and do nothing all weekend and love it. The Yutzys are a family full of passion and love. We are a crazy bunch that never has a dull moment and they open my eyes with there insights. Both Yoders and Yutzys are full of love and support and I can't imagine my life without any of them.
5. My Church-What a supportive group of prayers warriors that blow my mind all the time. When we got the boys what a rally of people we had behind us bringing us food, clothes, money, and support. Every Sunday I stand in awe of God as I sing my heart out to him and soak in the sermon.
6. Inside Out/College Group-These two groups often feel like a second family to me. Inside Out blesses me with the leaders who are beyond crazy and are an inspiration to me. The high schoolers shock my socks off so often with our talks at small groups, cardboard testimonies, and passion for life. With the college group I see those same high schoolers turn into responsible adults that are growing in knowledge and passion. They dote on our boys and our boys soak it up. Never a dull moment in either group.
7. My Friends-I do believe my friends are a step above the rest. They help keep me sane with coffee breaks randomly during the week and a text to ask how I'm doing. Once again when we got the boys they were the ones that came with bags and bags full of groceries. They volunteered to baby-sit one night so me and Raph could go on a date. They invite us out on the weekends and we gladly accept
I'm full of joy today and I plan on working on keeping that joy. When times get hard and I start to feel depressed I will have to look back at this entry and I'm sure it will smack me in the face. To all of you that are listed and those of you I forgot, THANK YOU!
1. God-Where would I be without Him? Seriously? I would be in a pit of depression and grief with no way out if it weren't for my heavenly father who rescues me day in and day out from my own selfishness and despairs. He fills me with a joy and love beyond my human understanding.
2. My Husband-God has blessed me with a man who knows me so well and would do anything in this world to make me happy. Ex. Move to Ohio, take in three boys, take the time to know my love languages and adore me with all my imperfections and annoyances, the list could go on and on. I have never been a good communicator and my husband may be the best around. I adore him and he adores me. I'm ok with getting old as long as this man is by my side.
3. My Boys-Yes they frustrate me and yes they make me want to tear my hair out 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time I could cry at the sweetness of them. L wrapping his little chubby arms around my neck and squeezing as tight as he can, K asking me to lay beside him when I put him down for a nap and if he accidently hurts me patting my arm and saying "sowwy Mommy", S cuddling up beside me any time I sit down and telling me I look so good when I walk out in an outfit he's never seen before. What would I do without these terrors? They complete our home.
4. My Yoders and Yutzys-Our families could not be more opposite. When the Yoders get together we are a houseful of screaming children and try to get conversation in whenever we can. Yet we are a laid back people that can sit around and do nothing all weekend and love it. The Yutzys are a family full of passion and love. We are a crazy bunch that never has a dull moment and they open my eyes with there insights. Both Yoders and Yutzys are full of love and support and I can't imagine my life without any of them.
5. My Church-What a supportive group of prayers warriors that blow my mind all the time. When we got the boys what a rally of people we had behind us bringing us food, clothes, money, and support. Every Sunday I stand in awe of God as I sing my heart out to him and soak in the sermon.
6. Inside Out/College Group-These two groups often feel like a second family to me. Inside Out blesses me with the leaders who are beyond crazy and are an inspiration to me. The high schoolers shock my socks off so often with our talks at small groups, cardboard testimonies, and passion for life. With the college group I see those same high schoolers turn into responsible adults that are growing in knowledge and passion. They dote on our boys and our boys soak it up. Never a dull moment in either group.
7. My Friends-I do believe my friends are a step above the rest. They help keep me sane with coffee breaks randomly during the week and a text to ask how I'm doing. Once again when we got the boys they were the ones that came with bags and bags full of groceries. They volunteered to baby-sit one night so me and Raph could go on a date. They invite us out on the weekends and we gladly accept
I'm full of joy today and I plan on working on keeping that joy. When times get hard and I start to feel depressed I will have to look back at this entry and I'm sure it will smack me in the face. To all of you that are listed and those of you I forgot, THANK YOU!
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