My Mother's Rocking Chair

For those of you that don't know my mom I just have to tell you she is one amazing woman. I didn't always appreciate my mom especially during those fun teenage years. But I've grown to appreciate her so much over the past years and since we got the boys I appreciate her even more. If I need to vent during the day I call my mom. If I have a question about the boys I call my mom. If I have a question on cooking I call my mom. If I need a listening ear I call my mom. She watches the boys for me so often. I often feel like our relationship is all me taking and her giving and after my husband she is the one I lean on. I was sick yesterday and today and on days like today I appreciate her even more. She came out to my house and watched the boys so I could rest, nap, bathe, and she left us with a big pot of noodles on the stove. She is amazing. And let me tell you, my boys love my mom just as much as me.
One of the things my mom gave me after we first got the boys was one of her rocking chairs. I had been keeping an eye out for a cheap one but a nice cheap rocking chair is hard to find and money was tight. So my mom brought me one of hers. I have memories of being a child and having my mom rock me. I love those memories and they were memories I wanted to pass on to the foster children we received.
This week has been a rough week with our oldest one. His constant lying, blatant disobedience, and outright attitude towards me made my grace tank pretty empty as the end of the week was coming up. Tonight was no different and I sent him to bed early as the younger two stayed up to watch one more show. After I put him to bed I felt my heart start to soften a little as I left his room.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours!
Back I went to the youngest room and pulled that faithful rocking chair over. "You want me to rock you for awhile?" I asked him and he jumped right over. As I was rocking him and singing to him I felt him melt against me and my heart just melted. I had to think back to being rocked by my mom. I'm sure there was many many times that my mom rocked me and I have no memories of it. How many times had he been rocked before he came into our home? How many times had he been sung to? He can never get enough cuddles and hugs and I have to wonder how many cuddles and hugs he has received. I know it isn't nearly as many as I had by the time I was his age and it breaks my heart to picture him a lonely baby not getting the rocking and cuddling he needed.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours!
As I rocked him I was amazed at how much he has grown in the short year we have had him. He is growing out of the toddler stage into the boy stage and it's harder and harder for me to hold him and rock him. I told him a long time ago that even when he is too big for me to pick up and carry around he will always have my lap to sit in. That has stuck with him and he often brings it up. Tonight I made myself a promise that I will rock him more often and will have more grace than I ever thought I could. God has sure shown me more grace than I deserve and this sweet boy deserves it more than me. I want him to feel the love I felt in my mother's rocking chair.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours!