Our Leap

I will never forget sitting in church one Sunday and the sermon was on Peter walking with Jesus. Not really about Peter but the rest of the disciples. Why did they stay in the boat? If we were in that boat would we have the faith to take that step out onto the water like Peter or would we stay in the safety of the boat?

Before that sermon Raph and I had tried for over a year to get pregnant. No luck. Finally I went to the gynocologist and we ran tests and through a variety of tests we found that the chances of us getting pregnant without running more tests and doing who knows what else were very very slim. We decided to stop with the testing and move on to the next step. You see we had a plan. Fostering was always part of the plan but it was step B not step A. Step A was having one or two biological children and then years after that our step B was fostering. Did we ask God about these steps? No. Did we feel good about our plan? Yes. Well God had other plans. It was hard to understand through the heartbreak of letting go of that dream. Through not knowing what little Raph and Reginas would look like. Through people asking when we were going to start having kids and knowing that it wasn't likely.

Fast forward to that Sunday. We had been trying to decide what to do. We lived in a small apartment where we didn't want any children but a newborn living in. So we were looking for a place to rent because I didn't feel comfortable buying. We had struggled financially during the beginning of our marriage and we were finally doing good. I didn't want to give that up. My husband is wiser than me. Through prayer and searching we finally started looking for a house. We decided to take that step of faith. We found the house of my dreams. Put in an offer. They accepted the offer. Boom! They had someone else offer more so they dropped ours. Once again I was wondering where God was. "God if we can't have biological children can't we at least have this dream house?" So we started our search again. God answers. God provided a house that wasn't even on the market, was cheaper, and a much smarter move. We took it.

A few months after we moved we started the fostering process. They gave us 6 months to complete the training and home study. We were done in 3. We said we would take two children ages three and under which is what we were comfortable with. Once again God had other plans. We endured months of waiting for the call and frustration and many tears from me of still not having children. Wondering why there are so many children that need homes and here we sit waiting. Finally we got the call. My heart was racing when they told us they had children they wanted us to consider. Only there weren't two, there was three. "God this was not our plan" God said "LEAP!" Fears were there and prayers went up and I wanted those three little boys with all my heart. Husband agreed and we said yes. Into our lives walk three little adorable boys (we will call them S, K, and L) that instantly filled that hole in my heart. That hole that had been there ever since I left my kids in Jamaica 7 years before. God filled that hole and allowed me to have children to pour my love into. My husband became an amazing father and our families welcomed them with open arms. Life sure hasn't been easy and we have questioned God and wondered why can't we have the easy life. I will never forget the words my husband shared with me. He was driving down the road one day thinking of how life has changed and how hard it is when three kids come into your life in one huge swoop. He felt God telling him "I haven't called you to the easy life"

We don't know how long we will have these three boys and my heart feels like it's being ripped out of my chest when I think of them leaving. But I do know God doesn't always call us to the easy life and we aren't always called to step out of the boat but sometimes we are called to leap. I hope I never miss that opportunity to take that leap.

I will leave you with these verses that dear friends have shared with me:
Isaiah 60: 4-5
"Your sons will come from afar, your little daughters will be carried home, then your eyes will shine and your heart will swell with joy"
Psalm 113:9
 ^"He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children."
Praise the Lord!