We Cry Abba Father

Romans 8:15  The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.  And by him we cry, Abba Father.

2 Timothy 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you;  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

"Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice." Quote from After Earth

The above verses and words keep running through my head. Fear is so real to me this morning. During our fostering annual review some problems came up. I can't go into details but from these problems it looks like we are going to have a meeting. The annual review is how we keep our license. Our license is how we keep our children. My breath is taken away every time I think of this.

I found all of this out late yesterday afternoon and of course I couldn't reach the worker I needed to talk to before she left for the day. Fear overtook me. I had a fun night out with my mom and sisters that distracted me but then when I came home the fear gripped even tighter. I spent a lot of last night close to a panic attack. I could feel the tightness overtaking my chest. If you've never had a panic attack you can't imagine how scary that feels. Hives broke out on my chest and neck and I couldn't stop it. Fear is a gripping emotion. I feel so badly for anyone that has ever lost a child. The fear of losing my children completely terrifies me. Probably because in the eyes of the law they are not yet my children. In my heart they are my flesh and blood.

I tried and tried last night to give this over to God but just couldn't seem to do it. Finally when I was in the bathroom I broke down. "I can't do this! Satan get away! God I need you! I can't do this on my own!" Let me tell you folks, Satan is very real. He had a strong grip on me last night. Through my shaking and teeth chattering and praying and praying and praying a peace overcame me. Satan is real but God is so much more powerful. Don't underestimate the power of either one of them! Satan wants us to have that fear that overtakes us and grips our chest into tightness and causes hives. God wants to take that fear from us and give us peace. We just have to ask and let him. I have prayed for the past month now that God would bring me closer to Him. I want to be closer to Him in every way possible. I am now! I have felt God's power over Satan and am so grateful and humbled by His love for me. If you don't have that in your life please, please turn to Him!

I still don't know what the outcome is going to be of all this. I don't know how serious the whole situation actually is. I do know that last night I went by each child's bed and prayed over them. Do not take your children for granted. I do know that God is in control and He can get me through anything. I pray that He doesn't ask me to give up these children. Not only for my sake and my husband's but for theirs. I can't imagine them being uprooted again and what that would do to them. So I'm asking for prayer. Thank you for all the people that are praying and will pray